2/15/2025 - Fuck, I'm Going Into Law, Aren't I?

Time to accept it!

Well, the day has come (sort of). I cannot continue to expect a career in the gaming industry. The layoffs have become far too prevalant and I cannot in good conscience continue to delay the inevitable and push for a career in gaming. It's quite sad actually, I was really excited to do environment art for games, and I worked insanely fucking hard to make that work. Unfortunately the reality of the situation is that no matter how much work you put into something, sometimes you can't fight the forces that be. The forces, in this scenario, are a shitty job market and huge corporate monopolies who don't give a fuck about games and act like every game designer is an expendable item rather than an artist and creator that possesses value.

It's honestly really tough to give up on a dream. Everyone has dreams that they have to give up at some point, but I thought I had already done that. I thought game design was my final, concrete career. Game design should be a realistic career, and it was for years until maybe last year, which is very unfortunate as that is the year that I started college for game design! Just my luck. I have had nothing but support from the fantastic staff at my school and from my family and friends, which makes it all the more painful. Everyone believed in me. I believed in me. And I have to keep telling myself that this is not an admission of failure or an admission of a lack of skill, but a tactical retreat to make sure I am safe and financially secure in my future.

So, where do I go from here? Law. If you know me personally perhaps that's not shocking, and those who I have told have all had the same reaction of, "I'm surprised you didn't go into something political from the start." I expected to leave politics to the side, separate from my career. But perhaps that was naive, considering how deeply ingrained politics is to my life, not just because my inherent existence and right to love who I want to love is political. Every single human being, every plant, every animal, the rivers, the trees, the sky: everything is affected by politics, whether we like it or not. Good governence has the ability to make life better for us all, and it can help preserve nature and wildlife and make sure this earth is beautiful and enjoyable for all for years to come. For decades we've seen attacks on our environment, on worker's rights, on personal autonomy and freedoms. It makes me so deeply angry to see the government act as an agent of chaos rather than an agent of positive change. This is why I care so deeply about politics: we are all affected by governmental systems, and they have the potential to do so much good.

Do I want to run for office? Eh, possibly one day. But that is not my end goal for going into law. I will be happy practicing any sort of law that's adjacent to politics or makes a real difference in people's lives. What that may end up being, I don't know. I've chosen the legal field because it's something that I am passionate about, and it brings financial and professional security, which is what game design failed to bring. I'll continue to do game design in my personal life, but I am letting go of a future in that professional field. As difficult as this change was to come to terms with, I know it is for the best.