1/25/2025 - The COVID Years

I am far too nostalgic for my own good.

I find myself living in the past a little too much. My life, by most objective measures, has been on a steady upward trend for the last... while? Perhaps nostalgia is, in fact, blinding. I often think about my life during COVID. Fuck COVID so hard! It took so many lives from us, ruined high school graduations, funerals, the works. It was a huge net negative for the planet and it's insane that we all collectively experienced it. I do, however, find myself looking back on that time in my life quite fondly. I was in early high school, and it was a chance for me to be by myself and find myself in my solitude, which was desperately needed at that time. I did a lot of self-reflection, and I, unlike almost everyone, greatly enjoyed online school.

A lot of people had trouble motivating, which I do sympathize with. Luckily, online school meant less time spent commuting to and from school and less time sitting in class after I finished my work. It was great being able to simply log off after I had finished my assignment. I worked quickly back in those days, and 8 hours of school every day felt like a distraction from doing other things that piqued my own interest. I spent my days painting, which I haven't done in years, and greatly miss. My other extracurricular activites were also cancelled for a long while due to COVID. As much as I may have enjoyed those activities, it was truly wonderful to not have to go to them for a period of time. It was simply refreshing to not have to worry about my absurdly packed schedule for a while, and that made me far less stressed than I usually was.

I, unlike most people, can go a long time without seeing my friends in-person before it starts to bother me. FaceTime calls were plenty for me, and I enjoyed the isolation that came with COVID. Although in hindsight that definitely harmed my people skills, it was welcome at the time. Nowadays, I don't feel like there is any "me" time anymore. Even on days when there is "me" time, it is spent worrying about the numerous things that I have to do that week, and, plainly put, I just can't enjoy myself. I have fun, I relax, sure. But not like I could during COVID.

The COVID nostalgia is just exacerbated by the extremely defined aesthetics and culture of 2020. Whipped coffee, that one song, those stupid black and white television ads by corporations telling us about how we need to stick together during these unprecedented times... what a time it was! Usually, during good periods of my life, I am unaware in the moment just how good they are. The funniest part about COVID, however, was that I was aware of how great it was for me. I remember thinking to myself, "I won't ever get as much free time as this until I retire." And I was right! And I'm glad I recognized that in the moment, because we're only getting busier from here.